Why Uncertainty is the Key to Happiness
Can it really be true that uncertainty is the key to happiness?
Many years ago there was a Chinese farmer in a small village. He owned a single horse who helped him earn a living for his family. The other villagers constantly told the farmer how fortunate he was to have such an amazing horse.
”Maybe,” he replied.
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One day, the amazing horse ran away from the farm. The villagers exclaimed, ”Your horse ran away. How unfortunate!“
”Maybe,” the farmer replied.
A few days later, the amazing horse came home, with three beautiful wild horses in tow.
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”What good fortune. What an amazing blessing,” the villagers exclaimed.
”Maybe,” the farmer again replied.
The following week, the farmer’s only son was riding one of the wild horses in the fields, when it kicked him off and broke his leg.
The villagers arrived to express their concern. ”What terrible misfortune,” they said.
”Maybe,” the farmer replied.
The next month, a military officer knocked on his door recruiting able-bodied young men for the war. The farmer’s son, with his shattered leg, was not selected.
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The villagers were elated, “your son has been spared from the war. What amazing luck!”
The farmer simply smiled. “Maybe.”
The parable of the farmer and the horse is wonderful lesson in embracing uncertainty.
Friar Richard Rohr is an American author, spiritual writer, and Franciscan Friar based in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He authored a human developmental theory into three stages called Order, Disorder and Re-order. It mirrors the parable in many ways.
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The theory suggests that we cannot grow unless we move through significant periods of uncertainty in our lives.
Order
The Order stage is when our lives are bumping along as anticipated. Pride is at an all-time high. The universe is cooperating. No lost horses or broken legs. things are predictable, more or less.
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Order can be calming and re-affirming-and we can start to feel invincible: “pickin-em up, and layin-em down”, as the kids like to say. Don’t you think there is comfort in the ordinary and predictable nature of life? I do.
These are the times when every dimension is firing on all cylinders. You are at an optimal performance level emotionally, spiritually, financially, relationally, physically, occupationally and parentally. Okay, parentally isn’t really a word but I’m on a roll.
Everyone and everything is following the rules of the universe….at least for a minute.
And then there is a knock at the proverbial door…..
Disorder
Disorder is kinda the evil step-sister of the Order stage. When she shows up she is smoking a Marlboro Red and drinking a warm can of Natty Light. She is pissed off. She doesn’t bother to remove the cigarette butt from her lips before she tells you to kiss her ass.
You can bet that when Disorder shows up at the party, some property is gonna get destroyed. And everything is gonna smell like cigarettes smoke and stale beer after she’s gone. Think: fraternity house basement.
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Or maybe Disorder is like bad Tequila. The kind that comes in a plastic bottle. The kind that makes you wish you were dead— about six hours later. The kind that makes you swear to God in heaven that you’ll go to Seminary and call your mother every day if He just lets you get your face out of the toilet for five minutes. C’mon, don’t act like you’ve never been there.
Disorder turns life upside down. Like the time I got laid off from my job, unexpectedly. And they FedEx’d me a copy of What Color is Your Parachute? Nothing says you’re fired like a book on identifying your “parachute” color. And, all the rules of the universe went out the door.
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The Disorder stage is a stark reminder that we are not in control of our lives….ever.
The Disorder stage is intended to be painful & confusing to us. Like being forced to watch a foreign movie with subtitles or watch network television shows or eat unsalted potato chips. The Disorder stage is intended to break us open enough so that new wisdom can get in. That’s called growth. And that’s the beginning of the Reorder stage.
Reorder
The best word to define the Reorder stage is Resurrection. It’s the beginning of something new. Like the very first twinkling of light when the sun rises. The fog of Disorder begins to lift.
Photo by Tom Greene
We start to see things clearly again. And, it’s usually about this time that we start to have a very small amount of gratitude. Gratitude for being broken open. Gratitude for being transformed. Gratitude for being kinder, stronger, wiser and humbler (yes, that’s a word; I looked it up).
See, life is gonna have a certain amount of disorder. And, we are never in control of life’s events. When we stop trying to coerce life to go exactly the way we want, we naturally experience a greater sense of fluidity and ease no matter what happens. Just like the Chinese farmer.
So what stage of life are you in right now? I’d like to hear about it below. I love hearing from my readers and I promise you’ll hear back from me.
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