Courage in Times of Despair

This virus may be the most challenging enemy we’ve ever faced. It is disrupting every aspect of our lives, just when everything seemed on autopilot. Perhaps we just didn’t know how good we had it.

The Fear

I know you’re afraid. Thousands of you read last week’s story. Many of you left thoughtful comments. And I’m grateful for the honesty and the vulnerability in those comments. As Brene’ Brown likes to say:

”There is no courage without vulnerability.” And being vulnerable is scary stuff”.

But it’s okay to be scared. Cause if you aren’t a little afraid in these trying circumstances then you aren’t truly alive. 

It’s not the absence of fear that drives a soldier to run into a hail of machine gun fire. They’re afraid. Very afraid. But they choose to take action anyway.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the capacity to act despite our fears." 

John McCain

So people are afraid. That’s obvious. But what are they afraid of? Are they afraid of getting sick? Are they afraid of dying? Maybe. But I think they're more afraid of the uncertainty. 

We don’t know if we will have jobs. We don’t know if we will have football. We don’t If we will have a 401(k) or a 201(k) when all this ends. It’s all so uncertain.

The Worry

In uncertain times, we worry. We are really good at it. Borderline professional. People in other countries do not seem to worry as much as we do. But in America we make worrying a sport; a national pastime. And this pandemic is like throwing high-octane gasoline on our “worry fire”.

Some might say that worry is simply a lack of faith. Maybe. But in the words of Anne Lamont:

“I have a lot of faith. But I am also afraid a lot, and have no real certainty about anything. ... Faith includes noticing the mess, the emptiness and discomfort, and letting it be there until some light returns.”

Based purely on the actuarial probability, you aren’t fighting the infection right now. At least not yet. What you are fighting is the fear, the uncertainty. And the fear has a wicked, nasty stepsister. Her name is despair. Despair is the complete loss of hope. 

The Despair

My friend, Roxanne Merino, sent me a quote last week. It was by Clarissa Pinkoka Estes. I have no clue who she is (full disclosure). But her words are profound.

"I too have felt despair in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it; I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate."

Estes recognizes that despair is real. That it has crept into her life, from time to time. See, despair is like the flame of a candle. The flame needs oxygen to burn. Similarly, despair needs mindshare to gain momentum. 

Estes chooses, instead, to ignore the despair. To snuff it out like a candle flame. To refuse it aid and comfort. Without that aid and comfort, despair dies. 

Look, it’s okay to be afraid. Being afraid is normal. It's a biological response intended to protect us from danger. But when fear takes over completely, we reach a level of despair. Despair is not a normal biological response. It’s not normal to give up all hope. Because hope is the magic elixir of life. 

The Hope

Sir Thomas Carlyle once wrote:

“Man is, properly speaking, based upon hope, he has no other possession but hope; this world of his is emphatically the place of hope.”

I like Carlyle.

I’m not ready to give up hope just yet. I’m not ready to give up on America either. “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no.” (Please click the link if you don’t understand that reference).

I mean no offense to other countries. But brother, if I’m going down, I want to go down right here. Fighting like the third monkey on the ramp to Noah’s Ark, and it’s starting to rain. I’ll be swinging wild, roundhouse punches. I may go down, but I’ll go down swinging the haymaker.

The Comparison Trap

We get in trouble when we start comparing our country’s mortality results to other countries. We assume that we will follow the same trajectory. The same as Italy? The same as China? Really? Have you been to China? You can’t even breathe the air or drink the water in China-when there isn’t a deadly virus floating around.

The US has the finest healthcare system in the world. C’mon, if you started coughing up a lung like Ferris Bueller, would you really wanna be anywhere but in the good old US of A?  Hell no. 

For crying out loud, look at what we’ve accomplished in this country in the last few years. We invented the iPhone. And the Google. And the Facebook. And the Starbucks caramel macchiato. And Baseball. And yard-bird with 11 herbs & spices. It’s what we do. China can’t even copy our Moo Shu Pork. 

American Ingenuity

In the last few days, American ingenuity has kicked into high gear. Or, more appropriately, American ingenuity has kicked into Tesla’s mind-blowing Ludicrous mode. Pinning our heads against the headrest as we blast off. Warp speed, Jim. 

For example, Illinois-based Abbott Labs just announced they have developed a new Covid-19 test that takes like five minutes. Five minutes. It’s already being delivered to doctors. They’ll produce 50,000 tests each week. 

California-based Tesla just designed a ventilator in like six days. Six days. If I go down I want one of their vents. Nothing beats a Tesla product. (I wonder if it runs on a battery and has a Ludicrous mode?)

The most overexposed man on television, Mike Lindell, founder of MyPillow converted his manufacturing plant. He is now producing face masks at a rate of 50,000 a day. 

New England Pats owner Robert Kraft delivered the big finish for the week, importing 1.2 million masks from China in the Patriots' jet. No word as to whether the jet stopped in south Florida at the Orchids of Asia Day Spa.

Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson coronavirus relief golf match is on and could happen in May

The federal government is supplementing state unemployment benefits. If the number of people who filed unemployment claims in the last two weeks of March formed a U.S. state, it’d be the 11th largest behind Michigan. 

No other country does this kind of stuff, much less with the lightning-fast speed of the US. 

I wouldn’t bet against us. Ever. 

In the midst of all this innovation, we Americans are doing our part. We are sheltering in place and distancing socially and washing our hands twelve times a day.

Talk Amongst Yourselves

And, as we lock ourselves in our homes, we are reintroducing ourselves to one another. Jigsaw puzzles have re-emerged. Monopoly is making moguls out of twelve year-olds. The family is making a comeback. All is not lost, my friend. All is not lost. 

One of the pleasant surprises of this situation has been rediscovering old friends.

Earlier this week I reached out to my high school friends on Facebook Messenger. We’re sharing old pics from high school and silly pics of our kids. We’re considering a “Zoom Reunion”.

And, people have rediscovered the telephone. Verizon said it’s seen an average of 800 million wireless calls daily on recent weekdays. That’s twice the call volume on a typical Mother’s Day. And AT&T says people are talking longer. The wireless voice minutes last Monday increased 39% from the average Monday. Wi-Fi calling minutes were 78% higher.

Friends, the next few months are gonna be tough. But remember that fear and vulnerability are normal, human emotions. Just don’t let despair creep in. Stay positive, be hopeful. And keep an eye on the incredible American ingenuity that has been unleashed on this virus.

Right now the game is tied. But it’s very early. And our best players are still warming up. I’m betting that our team wins in a landslide victory for the ages. It’s what we do. Are you with me? Let’s roll…

If you’re inspired by this story, would you help me reach other people on the Facebook? Just click and share. Or, if you prefer, you can leave a comment below.

Either way, I will respond to you. I’ve got time. Now go wash those hands. #washyadamnhands