Nine Inconvenient Truths of Life
A few weeks ago I got a letter in the mail from a friend. Just before this whole Coronavirus got real. It was an invitation to play golf at Augusta National in March. The invite of a lifetime; 51 years in the making. Officially #2 on my own Bucket List. (#1 is to fly on Air Force One). They are about equal in their level of probability.
You may be aware that Augusta National Golf Club is now closed indefinitely. I was so close. So close.
This whole virus thing is really putting a kink in our lives. Not to mention my trip to Augusta National and a night in the historic Butler Cabin. So close.
So before you completely go into hibernation mode I want to provide some advice. Cause more than likely, you’re gonna be cooped up with your family (and yourself) for a few weeks. Like the world's longest Thanksgiving break without the giblets.
See, I think we’re about to move from “social distancing” to “shelter in place”. When that goes down we’re all gonna need to stop hoarding Toilet Paper and start hoarding Chardonnay.
And that’s where the story begins.
1.Humans Make Mistakes: Before you “hole up” with your family for a few weeks, it’s best to learn rule number one: humans make mistakes. You might know that about your kids and maybe your spouse. But you may not know it about your crazy Aunt Sally and your mother-in-law. Or is it your Aunt Sally and your crazy mother-in-law? Anyway, we say and do things that sometimes don’t make sense. Particularly in times of stress and uncertainty. Understanding and appreciating that we are all flawed human beings that make mistakes, can prevent a 20-year stay in a maximum security penitentiary.
2. Our Core Institutions are Flawed: As Americans we have tremendous respect for our institutions. We might complain and whine about big government and how petty our politicians can be, but we mostly think our government tries to do their best.
The same goes for our churches, hospitals and social organizations. But in times like these, we tend to put extra faith in our government. And we can end up disappointed when they don’t get everything right.
See, institutions make mistakes. Primarily because institutions are run by humans. And, if you recall rule number 1, humans make mistakes.
So pay attention to what we are being asked to do. But also be wary that we do not know everything about this virus and how it will impact our country.
It’s likely not a case of conspiracy. It’s likely a case of not knowing all the answers yet. Or not wanting to scare the bejesus out of us and create mass hysterical on the toilet paper aisle.
3. Everyone’s a Mess: My wife likes to say that there are only two kinds of people in this world: those that are nuts and those who just do not know they are nuts….yet. C’mon, you now that’s funny.
It’s going to be increasingly important that we keep an eye on each other. This is the first time in our lives that everything is at-risk: financial, relational, occupational, educational, spiritual, etc. After many years of life being pretty good, we are about to enter a time when life isn’t so good-or at least isn’t so certain anymore. We aren't used to it.
People may lose their jobs. People may lose their retirement savings. Relationships may be strained. Education may be interrupted, or worse. And for the first time in our nation’s history, people may not be able to go to church or synagogue for a while. So let’s do our best to check on one another. To care for one another. To be kind to one another. To make sure everyone is okay.
4. Everyone is fighting: Wait, that didn’t come out the way I intended, although it could come to that. The full quote is Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle.
It’s largely attributed to John Watson, whose pen name was Ian MacLaren. This quote is pretty appropriate right now, right?
Cause no matter who you are, we are all fighting the same battle. But this is a battle of degrees. Your battle might be simply dealing with your kids at home, unexpectedly. Or that you can’t go about your normal exercise routine and get the hell out of your house.
But let’s play a game called, “How’d you like to be ___________.” It’s a fun game that will help you recognize that your life is pretty good. So let me start and you can go next. Okay?
How’d you like to be a guard in a federal penitentiary surrounded by thousands of inmates living in extremely close proximity?
How you’d like to be sitting in the Emergency Room with your child wondering if their fever is the Coronavirus?
How’d you like to be seriously immunocompromised and living on the streets in a shopping cart?
How’d you like to be homeless and no longer have a place to simply use the bathroom or wash your hands because all the churches and stores are closed?
How’d you like to be living in Italy, surrounded by death and despair?
Now it’s your turn.
5. Life Moves Slowly at a Very Rapid Pace: This one is important right now. Life has been speeding up over the past few years. Lately we’ve been at warp speed. We’ve become increasingly impatient and demanding. But it’s not our fault.
The interwebs and the smartphone have changed everything.
Touch an app and a car shows up in minutes to whisk us away.
Touch an app and non-GMO, gluten-free, vegetarian meal shows up at our door.
Touch an app and Amazon delivers light bulbs on the same day.
With that kind of immediate gratification, why would we want to wait….for anything?
And, now, in the most ironic of circumstances, we are being asked to wait; to slow down, to pause our lives. And we’re inconvenienced. Terribly inconvenienced.
But remember this rule: life moves slowly at a very rapid pace. We will blink and look back on this unprecedented moment in history.
We won’t remember the anxiety, the boredom, the house arrest. We will remember that time stood still, for a very brief moment in our lives. We’ll remember the books we read, the walks we took with our children, the board games we played, the meals we delivered to friends and family members and the opportunity to just slow down and breathe.
Soon enough we’ll be back in the rat race. Sitting in traffic, waiting for a table at a restaurant, holding a conference call, hoping your kid makes the travel team, wishing we could have some of that precious time back.
Trust me on this one.
6. Certainty is the Evil Twin of Contempt: This is one of the hardest concepts to teach your children. As we move toward the complete hunker-down, others are gathering in crowded bars or not washing their nasty hands. They’re damning the torpedoes and going about their lives.
As I like to say to my daughter, “no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot fix stupid”. There are still a few holdouts on the interwebs claiming this is all a government conspiracy. Or part of some grander plan by some nefarious organization. It’s contempt. And while nobody will admit it, contempt for government and authority is what got Italy in so much trouble.
The people making these silly claims are the same people that believed that the space program was fake but that pro-wrestling was real. Lay low; wash your hands. It’s not a big ask.
7. Worry is a waste of time: When we worry, we are basically having a conversation with ourselves. That voice in our head that talks to us and creates all kinds of batshit crazy scenarios about the financial markets failing and millions of people dying.
The problem is that the voice in your head can be a complete jerk. And that voice hasn’t been right about anything since 1998.
“I used to think the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this”.
- Emo Phillips
We are almost never accurate with the outcomes we create in our heads. The conversations we have with ourselves are downright silly. So for the next two weeks, just practice good social distancing from the voice (voices) in your head.
8. The antidote to restlessness is stillness: This is gonna sound silly right now, but it’s true. The antidote to restlessness is stillness. That normally applies when you are running around at warp speed and you're worried about all kinds of silly things that seem important.
But it also applies to the restlessness you’re feeling right now. The desire to go and see and do things we typically take for granted. The desire to get the hell out of your house.
But here’s the irony. The antidote is to slow down even more. To be even more still. Try meditation. You can download the Headspace meditation app for free. Yeah, it’s weird at first, but anything that people have been doing for thousands of years must have some advantages.
Or work on your prayer life. That’s been around for a few years also.
Worst case scenario, you can download the Down Dog app and learn Yoga with your actual dog in your actual backyard. At a minimum, you’ll get some “me” time and maybe get a little more flexible along the way.
9. Le Petit Bonheur: (Thanks to my friend Roxanne Merino for this one.) There are times when it is hard to believe in the future, when we are temporarily just not brave enough. When this happens, concentrate on the present.
Cultivate le petit bonheur (the little happiness) until courage returns. Look forward to the beauty of the next moment, the next hour, the promise of a good meal, sleep, a book, a movie, the likelihood that tonight the stars will shine and tomorrow the sun will shine. Sink roots into the present until the strength grows to think about tomorrow.
My former Pastor, Craig Goodrich, was famous for signing all his emails with the closing, Good Courage. It seems fitting at this time.
Lastly, thanks to my friend Billy Benedict for sending me this great quote from Winston Churchill.
“ It would be foolish, however, to disguise the gravity of the hour. It would be still more foolish to lose heart and courage...”
We’re all in this together. If you are in need of more inspirational stories, please visit www.tomgreene.com.
Any inspirational suggestions for my stories? Please comment below or email me at T@tomgreene.com.