Judge George J. Hearn, III and the Shit Sandwich

A few weeks ago I walked down to the mailbox after dinner. I retrieved the mail. As I turned back up the driveway, I found a handwritten envelope addressed to me.

And, that’s where the story begins.

The Back Story

John and I have been close friends for over 30 years. We met at The University of Georgia in 1987. I still remember exactly where I was when we met for the first time. Strange, considering I cannot recall the expiration date on my currentAmerican Express card.

The handwriting on the envelope was familiar. I immediately recognized it as belonging to John Hearn. I guess that’s one of the telltale signs of a lifelong friendship. The ability to recognize each other’s handwriting. The memories of Christmas cards, thank you notes and letters of condolence when parents pass.

I ripped the envelope open as I walked up the driveway. It contained a heartfelt, handwritten note from John. And it also held several folded pieces of paper.

John’s father was Judge George Justus Hearn, III, an imposing, mountain of a man. Judge Hearn served as the Chairman of the Corporation that owned our fraternity house. I was the student President of the fraternity.

If you ever saw the movie Smokey & The Bandit, you may recall Sheriff Buford T. Justice. I swear that character was modeled after Judge Hearn.

On many occasions during my tenure as President, I would hear the dreaded words, “Greene, the Judge is here and he’s looking for you.”  Nothing could tighten the sphincter muscle faster than knowing “the Judge” was looking for you.

Conversations with the Judge were colorful, to say the least. They were usually more like the remarks Judges give criminals right before they throw the book at them.

I recall the Judge visiting the house after learning that we had failed to pay our property taxes for “a couple of years”. The Judge was particularly upset on this visit due to another incident that was unfolding before his eyes. One of our older brothers of legal drinking age had been over-served in a local bar the night before. When he returned to the fraternity house a group of brothers decided to “take him camping”. That is, the brothers proceeded to move his entire room into the front yard:  dresser, chairs, rugs, bedside table, bed, etc. His entire room was deconstructed and then reconstructed in the front yard.

Once the scene was set, the over-served brother was gently tucked into his bed. On this occasion the creative brothers even ran extension cords to the “room”. His clock radio was set to the appropriate time and his ceiling fan had been removed and reinstalled over a tree limb above his bed. It was quite the scene.

As Judge Hearn roared up the driveway in his Mercedes, the first thing he saw was this makeshift bedroom in the front yard. To say the timing was bad on this is an understatement He was so mad he had turned kinda purple. Steam was escaping from various places on his body. I remember it well.

Goddammit, Greene, here I am telling everyone what a great job you boys are doing over here in Athens. I got my arse on the line with the Administration. And how do you repay me? You feed me a Shit sandwich and ask me to lick my lips.” (Those were the PG-13 rated parts. It got worse from there.)

Now while the Judge scared the hell out of me, I also had tremendous respect for him. Over time, he became a friend and mentor to me. He helped me sort through various decisions in my life and was always available with sage advice and wise counsel. 

Our relationship began prior to the introduction of email. In those years I often wrote Judge Hearn letters seeking his guidance. He always wrote back. Always.

The Judge died of Cancer in 2014. This is a photo from my emotional last visit with him. I’m flanked by five fraternity brothers; three of them were former fraternity Presidents. We all loved this man.

So back to the story. Remember the envelope in the mailbox? The handwritten note was from my friend, John Hearn. It explained the following: 

“Tom: I’ve been cleaning out Dad’s study and found an old folder labeled simply: Greene. It contained every letter you ever wrote to Dad over the years. I’ve enclosed a couple of the more special letters. I thought you might enjoy having them. Best, John”

I stopped in my tracks. I sat down in the middle of my driveway. I carefully read my own words written to the Judge almost 30 years ago:

There are several lessons here:

First, there is terrific power in handwritten communication. Perhaps exponentially more than in electronic communication. But, unfortunately, human handwriting is a dying art form. And, few people write letters anymore.

Second, the letters were colorful reminders of the special friendship I maintained with the Judge. I was instantly transported back in time. I could almost remember writing the letter.

 “It now takes me longer to rest than it did to get tired”

─ Judge Hearn

Third, young men need the guidance and support of older men. The Judge inspired me to work harder and simply “do better”. Frankly I just wanted to please him and prove he had not wasted his time on me. It really was that simple.

Why You Need a Mentor 

In the spirit of Judge George Justis Hearn, III, I’ve put together a list of nine reasons why a mentor is a must-have in your life.

1. Mentors Provide Valuable Information and Practical Knowledge 

It’s like the age-old quote, “Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you've fed him for a lifetime." 

That’s what mentors do. They challenge us unlock our greatest talents, pursue our destiny, and to feed ourselves.

2. Tough Love

You cannot see your own faults any more than you can see your own ass. But good mentors can not only identify your flaws but can try to coach you into avoiding traps and pitfalls that expose your faults.

And, if they’re truly honest, they’ll give it to you straight up. The only way we soar is by identifying our weaknesses and blind spots and finding ways to constantly improve.

3. Mentors Can Easily Facilitate Your Own Soul Searching

One of my mentors is a master at making me imagine the solution on my own. He simply asks great questions and lets me talk my way to the answer.

When mentors let you find the answer on your own, it is a lot more powerful than simply giving you the answer up front. 

4. Mentors Offer Encouragement and Help Keep Us Going 

No matter how successful you become, we all need perspective and encouragement. Good mentors can learn to recognize our ups and downs. Having someone who can “talk you off the ledge” when times get tough can make a world of difference. 

5. Mentors are Sounding Boards to Bounce Unique Ideas Off Them for a Genuine Opinion  

I like to often say, “I have a lot of  pioneering ideas; some of them don’t suck as bad as others.”

Getting unbiased feedback on your (sometimes crazy ─ sometimes wonderful) ideas is extremely valuable and very hard to find in this world.

6. Mentors are Trusted Advisers

There’s a common thread across most of the bad decisions you make. The common thread is you. That’s because our own internal voice is unable to provide reliable and genuine input without being filtered through our own emotions. So it’s impossible to get unbiased, unemotional input from ourselves. 

We must have unbiased, unemotional input from someone who genuinely has our best interests at-heart.

7. Mentors Are Great Connectors 

One of the biggest mistakes college kids make is waiting too long to start networking. Rome wasn’t built in a day. And you cannot be in a hurry when relationship building.

Therefore, start networking years before you have a need for those connections. You’ll be surprised at how rewarding a mentor relationship can be.

8. Mistakes ─ I’ve Made a Few  

I’ve made some good moves in my career, as well... But I’m humble enough to admit I’ve done some really dumb stuff. We learn from both.

A reliable mentor can help reveal the dumb decisions and make sure you don’t turn dumb…. into dumb and dumber….by repeating the same mistakes again later. 

The only thing a mentor requires of you is complete honesty, the ability to listen- and the ability to follow through on the things you say you are going to do.

Final Thoughts 

So, what about you?  Do you have a mentor or coach that is meaningful in your life?  Do you have someone that can listen to your half-baked ideas and give you constructive feedback? 

If any of this resonates with you ─ or even if it doesn’t ─ leave me a message in the comments section.

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