Life is full of bullshit. The goal isn’t to avoid it. According to Morgan Housel, the goal is to determine what the optimal amount of bullshit is that you can tolerate and still function as a normal human being.

If you spend any amount of time traveling, then you know that travel comes with a lot of bullshit.

That bullshit comes in many forms. Delays. Weather. Cancellations. Middle seats. Lost luggage. It’s as predictable-or unpredictable-as death and taxes. And, if you can’t handle the bullshit then you probably shouldn’t travel.

That’s why most people who travel do so with an enormous of amount of patience. Patience for the bullshit. Because travel is like life. Both have an enormous amount of bullshit that cannot be avoided. Cause nobody promised you a bullshit-free existence. Yes, life is about learning to tolerate the optimal amount of bullshit.

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When you watch someone totally lose their marbles on a gate agent over a delayed flight, it tells you something about them. It tells you they don’t do travel very well. It tells me they don’t do life very well, either. Cause when things go awry, it doesn’t matter who you are. Or, what your status is. Or, how important you think you are. Delays in travel are normal bullshit. And, losing all your marbles won’t change the outcome. In fact, you’re just making an unfortunate situation worse for everyone. (And, you may never see your luggage again.)

Image courtesy of Nick Fewings via Unsplash

Empathy

Do you think that our ideological polarization has made us less empathetic towards each other? I do. The more entrenched we become, the more likely we are to eschew kindness, compassion, humility, gentleness and patience. The more likely we are to see another human being as an obstacle in our path. The more likely we are to see right past the gate agent. The same gate agent who is a single mom, working a twelve hour shift, navigating conditions outside of her control and trying not to end up on an Tik Tok video getting sprayed with a fire extinguisher. In today’s self-centered world, the ends justify the means, even if it means dehumanizing another human being. Yes, the world has developed the empathy level of an anonymous Twitter post. (I wrote about this here and here.)

Losing your marbles signals your brain to release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Our entire being (mind, body, and spirit) is forced into fight or flight mode.

President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who served as US President without the use of his legs once said, “If you can’t use your legs and they bring you milk when you wanted orange juice, you learn to say ‘that’s all right,’ and drink it.” Because, you know, is it really worth losing your marbles over OJ?

Patience is the companion of wisdom.”
St. Augustine

Patience and understanding towards other human beings is an essential life skill. It’s also a critical ingredient in dealing with life’s bullshit. Cause, we both know that life is gonna hand you and enormous amount of bullshit. Life is full of circumstances that are often outside of your control. The sooner you learn to appreciate that a certain amount of bullshit as inevitable the better.

See, patient people have a greater sense of gratitude. Gratitude for the opportunity to travel. Gratitude for the ability to cover great distances quickly. The same distance that used to take months or years to travel by covered wagon. (See also, 1883 or any other Taylor Sheridan show.) Gratitude for the mechanics who keep the planes flying. Gratitude for the pilots and crew who deliver millions of people safely each year. Gratitude for the Air Traffic Controllers who keep thousands of planes safely in the air. Gratitude for the guy that cleans the lavatories and empties the trash. You get the point.

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not smashing it”
Arnold Glasgow

Studies show that patient people have fewer negative emotions and less depression. Likely because patient people tend to cope with life’s bullshit better. Patient people are more mindful and feel a greater connection to other human beings. That connection tends to make people more humble and kind. They’re also more satisfied with their lives, because patience simply allows you to enjoy life more.

Virtually all major world religions claim patience as a virtue and an important trait of good character. The Bible describes patience as a fruit if the spirit. Maybe that’s why the word 'patience' is mentioned in the Bible nearly 70 times.

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
Colossians 3:12

Whether you’re Christian or not, most people agree that the Bible contains pretty good advice. Don’t you think we need a little more compassion, kindness, humility and gentleness in the world today? I do. Especially when it comes to dealing with the bullshit.

So what about you? Are you handling the bullshit of life with grace? If so, I’d like to hear about it below. I love hearing from my readers and I promise you’ll hear back from me.

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The Optimal Amount of B.S.

Empathy

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