11 Ideas to Make You a Better Dad
My daughter was in first grade. I was busy kicking, fighting, scratching and clawing through my career. She was asked to color a picture of what makes her Mommy & Daddy happy. My little girl colored a picture of my wife arranging flowers (left).
This picture is framed and has been on my desk for 15 years.
And she colored a picture of me sitting in the passenger window of a Delta jet. The caption was “My Daddy is happy when he is on airplanes”. Ouch. Sometimes God will use the voices (or Crayons) of other people to speak to us.
See, kids are observant. Extremely observant. They see us exactly as we are. Warts and all. It’s easy to get focused on the prize and forget that they are always watching. Always learning. Always listening. Cause no matter how much of a tool your Dad was, you always worshipped him. You probably still do.
In our minds we are all the coolest Dad on the planet. We all want Alan Jackson to sing about us like he did in his hot song Drive. And you can watch Alan Jackson sing it live at the Grand Ole Opry here (2019).
This is one of the great challenges of man. Managing the many obstacles of growing a family, building a career, making a good income, being a half-decent spouse and not ending up on some “Dad Fail” Instagram post.And trying to keep your chin just above the water line, so as to keep from drowning. And trying to hold fast to the last vestiges of your dreams
It’s a tall order. We must be mindful that the best things in life aren’t things. And we don’t stay where we are for long. Life moves slowly at an incredibly high rate of speed.
Here are a few suggestions to marinate on this Fathers Day weekend:
Create Memories
My good friend Rob once told me that that he exists for one purpose: “to create memories for my kids”. I wrote it down and try to constantly look for opportunities to do small things that create big memories. Sometimes the best memories come in small doses. In the simplest of experiences we are building something that will last well beyond our limited time on earth: memories.
Selfie Check
My friend Scott has a family tradition. It serves everyone’s purpose. Mom and Dad want to know the kids are safe. Kids want any excuse to take a selfie. So anyone in the family has the freedom at any time to simply text “selfie check” to the family. Everyone has five minutes to return a selfie of what they’re doing. It’s a great way to make sure everyone is safe and to stay connected when you aren’t together.
Be a Contributing Member of Society
Work was given as a gift to us. We weren't made to sit around and do nothing. Look, if your idea of a productive day involves a remote control, it’s time to take inventory. Kids watch us. And if you are sleeping in past the time they get up for school, you’re as useless as a screen door on a submarine.
Create a Family Playlist
My brother in law, Jeff Smith, only asked for one thing on his last birthday He set up a Spotify Playlist called Favorite Songs. He added his 15 favorite tunes. Then he asked each family member to add their 15 favorites. He now has a playlist of his family’s 60 favorite tunes in one Play List. Pretty cool.
Practice Generosity
At the end of the day I empty my change and any one dollar bills into a jar. It adds up. Every year on Christmas Eve, my daughter and I visit Starbucks. We take over the store and spend all that money. For a few hours we covertly buy a cup of coffee for every patron that walks through the door. The looks on their faces is worth the investment. Here’s a photo from our fav barista a few years ago.
Live a Healthy Life
Part of setting a good example is taking good care of yourself. Put down the cheeseburger.
Have a Spiritual Life
Life is hard enough. Teaching your children about faith in something greater than ourselves is our greatest lesson.
Treat People with Respect
Just do it. No explanation necessary. (see also: “Don’t Be a Jerk”)
Speak to Strangers
One of my favorite things to do is ask total strangers, “how is your day going so far? It’s a simple ask. For me it’s a great way to engage strangers. For my kid it’s a lesson in kindness.
Original artwork by John P. Weiss (www.johnpweiss.com)
Share Your Spiritual Gifts
Do your children know what your spiritual gifts and talents are? My wife is an outstanding florist. Truly an artist with flowers. And flowers bring her joy. But she refuses to charge anyone for them. She simply reserves her talent for God and for her closest friends when they need her: weddings, funerals, etc. She will admit, “I only do flowers for people that I love.” That way it remains calming and enjoyable—and not a job. Showing your children your spiritual gifts is a great way to set the example for your kids.
Teach Your Kids About Work
Multiple generations of the same family enter into the same profession: law enforcement, fire prevention, petty theft, medicine, law, teaching, etc.
So teach your kids about what you do while they’re in school. Who knows, they may end up having a passion for what you do.
So that’s it. A few tips to make you a better human and a better Dad. Enjoy this Father’s Day weekend, you’ve earned it.
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